The Care and Nurturing of Productive Relationships: Part Two

This article is the second on the care and nurturing of productive relationships. This post looks at strategies we can use to build and enhance productive relationships with our program leadership.

Create Clear Lines of Communication. Creating clear lines of communication starts with knowing yourself. Spend some time thinking about how you best receive information, what times are optimal for conversations, and how long it takes you to process the information you receive. Then develop a shortlist of your communication preferences. Next, you may want to schedule a meeting with your supervisor. In the session, share what helps you be an attentive and responsive communicator. When you present your ideas, remember to offer them as requests that support the team's growth.

Create a Clear, Concise Agenda. I always try to send my supervisor an agenda of a scheduled meeting ahead of time. It is often as simple as a shortlist of topics that need attention. Sometimes I confirm my plan and ask for advice or direction. I find that having a plan makes our time together efficient and effective. It also has the added benefit that I don't surprise my supervisor with any topics. If there is no way to send an agenda, I ask to spend the first few minutes together, creating one to ensure that we stay on topic.

Ask, "Is this an okay time?" Sometimes we need to drop in on our supervisor. To promote a productive relationship, ask your supervisor, "Is this a good time?" Asking this question creates two outcomes. First, it gives your supervisor a chance to step away from what they are working on mentally. Second, by asking, you acknowledge that this might not be the best time to talk. Most of the time, your supervisor will answer yes, but more importantly, accept it without hard feelings when they answer no. Always follow up a no with the question, when would it be a good time to meet?

Sort out the Urgent from the Everyday. When working with young children, there are moments when health, safety, and other classroom issues need our immediate attention. In urgent situations, you need to communicate clearly and precisely what is required and that you need direct support. I always let my supervisor know I will schedule time for non-urgent or everyday questions. I also let my supervisor know that I will communicate how that concern differs from a general question if I have an urgent situation. Clear communication has helped me get great responses from my supervisors with urgent matters.

Get to Know the Needs of Your Supervisor. When we work with people, it is essential to take a 360-degree approach. Understanding and acknowledging the work of those who supervise us is just as important as understanding those we lead in our programs, communities, and classrooms. Taking time to ask for the content of the decision and checking in at meetings goes a long way to supporting your supervisor and helping them feel that you acknowledge that you are a team working toward the organization's larger goals.

Take Self-Responsibility for Maintaining Productive Relationships. Taking responsibility for ourselves and productive relationships can be challenging. The urge to gossip, push to get our way, or even give in to everything requested is unhealthy for us and our relationships. Working to state what we need clearly and checking for agreement is one way to maintain healthy communication. When something is important to me, and I need to think about it, I say, "That's a great question. I would like to think about my response and get back to you at the end of the day." The key is to follow up and respond. Following up sends a message that you are reliable when asking for extra thinking time. Working on clarifying understanding is essential in maintaining productive relationships. Nothing prevents healthy relationships more than assumptions. Assumption leads to an us versus them mentality where no one is successful. If you are not sure, ask!  If you think that something stated seems off, the key is to ask for clarification.

Communication can be our biggest stumbling block to having successful relationships. Practicing our communication skills, like being mindful of what we say and do, asking for clarification when needed, and checking for agreement-goes a long way to creating successful communications.

What practices help you develop clear lines of communication?